Mother Nurture & the Depleted Mother Syndrome

When Big C was born 9 years ago, I went through what only mothers can understand. By all means, I have a wonderfully supportive husband and Big C was a wonderful baby. Big C fed well and had a sleeping pattern that was like clock work. In fact, he started sleeping through the night when he was about 3 months old. I never felt that I lacked sleep. But somehow, the stresses of being a first time mom and having a full time job took a toll on me. I remembered the feeling of exhaustion, helplessness, senselessness and living through the weekends numbly...


Then I chanced upon this book "Mother Nurture", and came across the term "Depleted Mother Syndrome" which was coined by the authors Rich and Jan Hanson to describe the overall feeling of physical and emotional stress commonly experienced by mothers. This book and its many case studies totally resonated with me and I began to understand the situation I was in and the emotions I was going through.
 
I had pushed myself to work at the same level as I was before Big C was born while taking on my new responsibility as a mom. As a result, like many first time mothers, I had less time to take care of myself, be it exercising or eating healthily. This depletes the body of the essential nutrients it needs. If this physical depletion continues over time, mothers could become less capable of handling and juggling their many responsibilities and the feeling of exhaustion, failure, helplessness and emotional depletion could set in.

That was how I felt 9 years ago, so much so that I had difficulty enjoying my work, my new baby and family life. Reading this book helped me recognize what I was going through, and enabled me to take some positive steps towards enjoying motherhood. Nine years on and 2 more children later, I've learnt how to nurture myself. I must say I've never felt happier and more balanced. Work, children and family life are simply gratifying!

Here's a snippet of what the authors recommend:

• First, acknowledge how you feel. Comfort yourself and get comfort from others, especially friends and family. Accept yourself and who you are. Don't push yourself down. Let go of unwanted feelings, past upsets or activities that don't work for you. Take into yourself the good things around you and make them a part of yourself. 
• You'd need to take care of your body before you can take care of your family. Take care of your body. Go for regular health-checks. Eat healthy. Eat green, leafy vegetables (for hormone balance), and foods rich in taurine (for energy and relaxation) and magnesium (essential for sleep). That's why I'm really for preparing home cooked meals for the family!
• Find time for exercise. Simple exercises like walking, jogging and swimming burn off stress-related chemicals and strengthen your body to withstand the ravages of work and motherhood. 
• Get support, including more quality help with the children and housework. Simplify household chores. Schedule some "me-time" once in a while and go out with friends. Connect more with other parents especially those in a similar situation. They can be part of an incredible social support network.

Do check out this book if you're in a similar situation as I was 9 years ago. Honestly, you may say that the remedies offered in the book are "common sense", but somehow, when I was stuck in a rut, reading about other people's experiences helped me realize i wasn't alone.  The more important thing is to develop a plan that works for you and implement it.